Mister y here, here’s to hoping we’re all having a good day. Today I thought it’d be fun to tackle perhaps one of the most debated, and becoming one of the most researched topics. That of course will be online dating myths or using any type of social media to meet, date, and maybe even marry someone!
Many people especially, but not exclusively, people of the older generations tend to be far more skeptical of online dating for many different reasons. Some of these reasons are not unfounded nor are they without merit. However, some of the reasons against online dating could in reality be applied to dating in person as well. So let’s go through a few of them, and I assure you this is only some, not all. I may in the future do a second post continuing further truths and myths. I highly encourage you to submit your own myths/truths about online dating or ask away. But without further ado, let us begin:
A) Online Relationships Don’t Last
This is perhaps one of my favorite myths I hear. It is believed that online relationships, whether two people who live close by or countries apart, will never be together long. I find this be one of the largest fictitious beliefs there are around regarding online dating. There are two approaches to combat this myth, one being statistics and the other is how and why behind this myth and I will explain both.
1) Statistically the answer varies. Most studies claim over 1 in 4 marriages began via online dating. Many statistics (more recent ones I’m finding) show that 1 in 3 marriages began via online dating. Now you might stop to say well most people are still not getting married who met online. You’d be correct, even the most biased studies don’t say most marriages began online. BUT pause for a moment and think to all the married couples you know (or knew). Count them up and divide by three. Now that number you’re left with is less than how many couple actually started online.
Why is it lower?
Because moving forward the amount of people meeting online and marrying is only increasing.
2) Why would strangers online want to meet up and even marry in time? After all it seems very impersonal and artificial talking through a computer screen? In the real world what makes two people meeting at a bar or club eventually getting together and dating so much more plausible? After all, online you likely met because you had some type of interest and those meeting online don’t usually meet in person the day after, they often wait weeks to get to know the person. Additionally it is a safer environment, you don’t feel pressured to say anything, and you can essentially leave at any time. Because of this you typically get to know the person who they actually are a lot quicker than in person and can act like yourself making it a very personal relationship. Of course then the actual meeting has to take place, which we’ll cover in the next section: safety.
B) Online Dating Myth, It Is Not Safe
This in itself is not so much a myth as a general statement to the world around us and meeting people in general with little merit. Though this seems directed a bit more to the ladies, it may apply to men all the same; would you go to a bar, get drunk, and then go home with a person you never met before that night? I would hope not. Not only is it unsafe, but if you want a lasting relationship that is a terrible start. Not saying the bar scene is impossible or entirely unsafe, but you have to be smart about it. Normally you’d bring a friend, right? Let someone know where you are? I’d hope so.
With online dating the same principle applies. Would you go to a secluded area to meet someone after talking to them online for barely a day? (And to stay true to the bar example, lets throw in drunk as well) Of course you wouldn’t. Online dating or ANY dating for that matter requires safety, regardless your gender, race, or any other factors. As with the bar scene, you should bring a friend, let someone know where you’ll be, and/or meet in public. This isn’t because online dating is unsafe, but because people are not careful.
Sadly there are bad people out there and any type of dating, be it online or in person may require caution and safety. If the other person truly likes you (and is sensible) they will understand. It is always wiser to be on the safe side than sorry side.
C) Only Desperate People Date Online
At one point in time this may have been true, though likely not completely. People date online for a variety of reasons; desperation is not one of them in a typical circumstance. Though I do acknowledge some people using online dating may be desperate, but again some people who go to the bar or club scene might be the same. However, it is not exclusively and not largely for people who are desperate.
People use dating for a variety of reasons. For some it is more convenient. You can view profiles, message, make your own profile and message as you like in your own time. You’re not forced for an hour or more to socialize with people. Additionally some people do not enjoy large crowds, and typically the dating scene is in public with crowds of people around(even the workplace can be). With online dating it can be you and that one other person, much more personal and much more friendly to those a bit more shy. You can advance any relationship at your own pace as well.
Online dating is great as well because you can put more of yourself out there than just your physical self. With today’s online dating sites, you can present much more about you through interests, hobbies, what you like, don’t like and what type of person you’re looking for. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then what does that say to those who post many pictures?
As always, happy searching;