Good Afternoon Everyone. Of course it is Mister y here with another small post. Now this seems to be a topic of interest and a topic with a lot of misguided information. So very often I come across other women who have certain beliefs of how they should be, how they should act, and of course how they should look to attract a guy or get a guy’s attention. This may be a specific guy or just guys in general. I apologize ahead of time as the title may have been a little misleading, because all guys want different things. But there is a general rule of thumb of what most guys do not want, which I’m going to cover. So we’ll briefly explain what a guy is looking for in knowing what a guy is not looking for.
(Not) What A Guy Is Looking For
What I find interesting is some of the beliefs or rather misguided beliefs regarding these theories. So I wanted to offer a general guide to dispel a few myths and maybe give women out there a break. Perhaps show you what not to do that will get and keep that guys attention you’ve been crushing on.
1) (Not) Being Agreeable
It’s always good to agree with someone, especially if ya know, you do. Finding things in common is a great way to start any communication and relationship. Agreeing to everything verbally, especially when you don’t actually agree mentally is bad. As a guy this is one of my internal warning signs. When a girl agrees with me it means at least one of several possibilities. She might have low self-esteem and is afraid of who she is, she wants to please me because she’s afraid to lose me therefore possibly needy (explained more later), or of course she actually does agree with all I’ve said. Of course you should not be argumentative, you should just be honest, be you essentially
2) (Lack of/Excessive) Confidence
Confidence is an important thing in what a guy is looking for. You should show a bit of confidence and be who you are (notice this is the 2nd time I’ve said this?) without being conceited. The issue is usually ladies (and guys for that matter) are often one extreme or the other. Either very confident to the point of being conceited or lack confidence. When meeting someone shy I understand they may not want to put out all their personal opinions and business out for me to see. But in time I would hope to hear you express yourself fully. Showing proper amount of confidence will also make it very clear to guys you are not going to be another notch in their belt or a one night stand. Tips on Confidence.
3) (Really) Nice Hair
This is a bit of a surprising one to many girls. But over done hair is actually a warning flag to many guys. Seeing over done hair is a sign of high maintenance or possible desperate. Nice hair is always a good thing, but excessively done with product can be not only a warning sign but a turn off as well. You should do your hair as it fits you, realistic but not messy. It’s also unrealistic to expect your hair is going to be that way all the time, it’s unnatural.
4) (Not) Talking About An Ex
In what a guy is looking for, this is pretty straight forward, anybody who starts any of their first three dates discussing an ex is a warning sign. The only real exception is if it is done in casual passing. But gossiping or overly discussing likes and dislikes of an ex is one of the largest warning signs that exist (aside from owning 30+ cats). Generally bad mouthing people in general is a poor reflection upon yourself. When posed a question about someone you’re not fond of, it might be easier to say “s/he is not someone I speak to much.” That essentially establishes a boundary that it is something at this time you don’t want to discuss. Providing you’re with a decent guy he will respect that boundary and put it off until later or you choose to discuss the topic openly.
5) (Really) Hard To Get
Flirting is fun, games are fun, and lets be honest playing hard to get can be fun too. This is not only for women, but for guys as well. It makes us feel wanted, appreciated and even desirable when someone is coming after us. However, to the person chasing it may be fun at first but too much and they may start to wonder. “Am I chasing someone who is insecure? Are they not flirting and actually immature?” These and other related questions may start popping into their head. And after some time they likely will stop chasing. Flirting is fun, being desired is wonderful, but excessively is a warning to the other party and may not be what a guy is looking for.
Of course this is not everything and there are many more things to consider about yourself, and your date. But these are all easy to find items you can help yourself with before the date starts to ensure success, or notice potential problems before you go too far. Of course there is many more things to consider and there will be another follow-up article for you in the near future. As mentioned in my first post, my goal is to help you find a date, not a one night stand and these tips might make the difference.
As always, happy searching;